LOST’s train is coming into the station, and before the end I wanted to get out some thoughts and predictions.

It’s as good as all the other nothing I’m using this blog for, which I recognize is a travesty and you can go fuck yourself along with my utter lack of direction.

Anyhows, LOST.

Now that the semi-finale has passed, the second star to the right is well in sight, and we’ve got nothing left between us and daylight.

Overall I’ve been impressed with my LOSTperience. I share none of the fandom’s frustrations or teeth gnashing. I don’t feel betrayed or otherwise misled by the narrative, and I expect to be more or less satisfied with the impending conclusion.

Can the show still disappoint me? I mean, I have to allow for that possibility, but I don’t think they have the time to screw me over at this point.

Gut-check: Is it still about a magic island? Yeah? Then we’re good.

I could say a lot about other shows betraying their themes or the folly of projecting expectations for so long that your brain is telling a different story than the show’s creators–who’s story it is to tell. But honestly, I’d rather just put my money down on how I think it will end. Immortalized for posterity.

If I’m right you can all line up for high-fives. If I’m wrong you can line up to hurl perishable goods and jeer in equal measure.

You should be caught up with the show before continuing, but I’m taking that for assumed.

Let’s get started.

**Speculative spoilers follow.**

Jack “New Jacob” Shepherd

Is going to die.

I’m surprised more people don’t seem to realize this. This show has never been straight forward about anything, and now people are assuming he’s the new Jacob just like that? Bullshit.

Oh, he’s going to die for the island in a very Jacobian way. He will die doing the right thing, saving his friends, the island, or at least Kate. Even a renowned Jack-hater such as myself is going to cry a little.

This will be one in a series of holy fuck moments that I expect to happen sooner than later. Within the first hour maybe even. Probably decapitated hence the deal with the neck wound in the flash sideways.

Which, I may as well tell you right now, will be the result of the finale. This finale, not last year’s. I got on that train fairly early in the season, and haven’t seen anything that sways me from that course.

Which is why all these deaths will be fine, and why they can kill whoever they’d like with reckless impunity—and have been since the beginning.

In summary: Jack dead, fairly early, likely decapitated, big hero, OMFG-what-now?!one!? moment.

James “Sawyer” Ford

I will not disguise that Sawyer is my favorite character on this show.

His arc has been the most rewarding—for the most part—and he’s pulled off with great big mutton-chops by Josh Holloway. Moreso this season than any other.

Let’s face it, this guy is going to Han Solo as hard as he can.

Possibly dying from it, which is fine as I stated above, although I do think he survives. Likely saving a fair amount of people—of who’s left anyways.

Just to set long odds I’ll say his actions directly save Hurley, Kate and Miles. Maybe Ben. Oh, and Claire. I keep forgetting about Claire.

He will appear to abandon all these suckers to their folly only to come back in a way that sends Darth Locke spinning into space. Yea, though he will not save the entire day. He will allow for the day to be saved just as all seems lost (remember, Jack’s already dead in my estimation).

The writers are enormous nerds and you can’t think they’re going to let this chance go by.

In the end-end however, he will wind up meeting Juliet in the flash-sideways. She’ll invite him to coffee.

Thus the circle will be complete, and one of several confirmatory nods that the flash-sideways are, in fact, Season Seven of LOST.

Kate “Freckles” Austen

Kate’s finally been worth watching again. Let’s just get a quick hurrah for that.

That said, she’s a bit of a conundrum this season. I think she’s finally confronted her own selfishness—and not through motherhood, despite anyone’s claims. She dropped Aaron the moment he became inconvenient.

No, it’s happened since then. I believe her sincerity is finally catching up to her stated intent.

I don’t think Kate was crossed off the list by accident. She’s a fly in the ointment that Smokey isn’t going to see coming. She’s still a candidate, he just doesn’t think she is. Thus an exploitable blind-spot.

Similar to Sawyer, Kate is going to have a chance to run. Only she’s not going to take it, even as Sawyer does. She’s going to try and do better—for Jack, for Claire, and even for Aaron. Which is going to lead her into the same sort of trouble she’s always getting into. Captured and endangering someone else’s better laid plans (Ben’s?).

That said, she will do just enough to ensure Claire survives, and can go back to her son. Kate will fully intend to stay the course—even facing her probable death—but through the natural conclusions of the show, the course will be altered and she’ll be let off the hook. I expect her to survive the experience but will be threatened directly and imminently.

Still, her arc will be finished, and her innocence will be provable in the world next door. Rainbows and sunshines and toy planes and all that stuff.

Maybe she’ll end up with Jack (sideways) and I suppose that’s fine. That’s a whole separate rant and one I don’t have the energy for at this stage in the game. If I go for the long shot however, I want her to end up with her childhood sweetheart and they’ll open up a shop that sells toy planes.

Hugo “Hurley” Reyes

Is the real Jacob replacement.

He’s the only person who’s always done what the Island wanted. Plus he’s living proof that Jacob’s faith in man is founded. Hurley doesn’t hate—even when given ample reason to. He doesn’t do violence or even get all that angry. He has always been willing to sacrifice himself for his friends and he is the incorruptible soul that will give Old Smokey the hardest time.

I don’t’ expect Hugo gets too many action beats, short of being able to save his friends, but I do expect him to stand up to Smokey the way fat kids are supposed to stand up to bullies.

All that said, we know—or I think we know—that the island is doomed and the flash-sideways is our conclusion. So Hurley will take up the mantle, but will zag when everyone expects he should zig. In the flash-sideways we’ve seen he is filled with great purpose, and all that will make sense as we see him step to the fore to push back the darkness.

After Jack dies in the first hour, expect his return in the second through Hurley. Which will set in motion the events that bridge both timelines. Jack will be filled with a whole new purpose in the sideways and Hurley will do the same in our original timeline. It is possible Hurley will die for his troubles, but even there, I believe he will be doing it with a knowing grin. If you strike him down he will only become more powerful.

Watch for that.

Truly, if Hurley doesn’t have a happy ending, that will be the one thing that can ruin this show for me.

Benjamin “Horrible Eyes” Linus

Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.

Ben appears to be on the side of the demons again. Which, I can safely consider bullshit. Killing Widmore is a public service at this point. It lets him appear to be Smokey’s right hand man while surviving long enough to exploit that appearance.

In summary, Ben’s running the short con as he’s always done. Only this time it’s for the good guys. This will, of course, kill him. A fate he will go to more or less willingly. Sure, Smokey will suss him out and dispose of him, but not before Ben has set him up for a fall.

A fall he doesn’t quite take if my Spidey senses are correct. I’ve got too many other characters lined up for reversals and rock and roll moments and they can’t all be successful.

Ben will fail, but it won’t be success or failure that redeems him. Only that he tried. He will lead Smokey to his doom but will be stopped at the door. A door which will be slammed shut by others.

Also, I totally think he and Danielle are going to end up together, and that’s hot.

Miles “How Am I Still Alive” Straume

Man, I am fucking stymied by how Miles has survived this long.

Now that Hugo can hold entire conversations with the dead, what is it that Miles brings to the table other than some lovable snark (which is Sawyer’s job)?

I’ll be good and goddamned.

I have nothing. Nary a guess.

By my own predictions I assume he has a happy ending, but what would his rock and roll moment even be? I’d love to say Miles summons the whispers like an army of the damned to do battle with Smokey, but that’s not likely.

Perhaps Richard (who I do think is dead for those wondering) can impart some last minute wisdom, and Miles’ll be the one who initiates the Desmond Protocol.

Really, I see Miles as a regretable death, early enough to let us know it’s on.

It would be hot like fire if he ended up with Claire, but obviously Claire is going to end up with Charlie in the flash-sideways so none of that matters.

Otherwise I got nothing. Bravo, writers.

Desmond “Wild Card” Hume

Ah, Desmond.

Sweaty, hunky, lovelorn Desmond.

The hero of the whole damn story, and the great facilitator in both of our realities.

He will get everyone together for the Grand Gather in our sideways time. Somewhere poignant. Maybe the Light Post, or the docks, or Locke’s hospital bed.

Somewhere ripe with potential and instantly recognizable. It’s here our characters will have their final head-slapping moment of “Oh yeah, we were all on an island and dead and stuff. Good thing Ol’ Des is here.” He might have to fight Eloise Hawking, which would kind of be awesome. At the least expect her and Daniel to interact directly over this issue.

On the island, however, it’ll be up to Des to wrestle Smokey down into the light. Putting him back where he belongs, destroying the whole island, and indeed the entire timeline. Shepherding his mates sideways where everyone is alive and free to be themselves. Lessons will be learned, friendships will be renewed, coffee will be gone out for, and Des and Penny can go about making Charlie II again.

That’s one of the weirder sticking points of moving over to the flash-sideways full time. Charlie—young Charlie, Charlie Hume. In that way, Des is the only one who has anything to lose. Even if it’s just to start over and try again. Well, and the Kwons have Je Yeong, but they’re dead otherwise, so really, they’re still better off.

Regardless, Des is the proven wild card who has a different reaction to all the lights this island has to offer. Who else can go toe to toe with Smokey and have enough energy left over to move an entire island of lost souls down the other leg of the trousers of time?

This just might kill him, but I can’t honestly envision an ending that doesn’t have Penny and Desmond sailing off into the sunset, and I don’t wanna.

John “Charlie Brown” Locke/

Smokey “Old Smokey” Smokington III

Smokey is going to be the dominant force for the better portion of the finale. Killing at least half of the characters left on the show, early and often. Jack, Miles, Ben… maybe even Sawyer, Kate and Hurley.

He will be ascendant and triumphant as he works his way through the remaining pins in his way. He will score some minor defeats but still appear able to see his way clear. His goal in reach. Freedom. Sweet blessed freedom. The ability to finally see what lies “Across the Sea”.

Which is where his first and final opponent will stand in his way: John Locke.

Informed by Desmond, Hurley or through his own anesthetized state, John will be aware enough sidewise to stop Smokey from crossing over with the rest of them. Or able to project enough bother over the rainbow that Desmond can get a hold of him and wrassle his black-shirt wearing ass into the light cave.

I expect and strongly desire a chance for John himself to still be one that saves all his friends. Perhaps after the last candidate falls (Desmond not being a candidate) He won’t get to save the island, of course. He’s moved on and learned to let go, embracing life in the sideways. So he does it with minimum regret.

Smokey will be overcome and finally released into the sweet embrace of the afterlife (as well as all the other trapped souls), sinking the island and setting up our first image of the season, where a no longer decapitated Jack shakes himself awake in time to order a drink and worry over some turbulence.

Loose Ends

The last images of the show will be some beautiful Giacchino piano music over a slow motion montage of all our survivors (and I mean pretty damn near all of them) going about their new lives.

Meeting, remembering, and counting their newfound blessings.

Everybody who’s every been anybody on this show should show up. Boone, Shannon, Charlie will meet Claire, Daniel will meet Charlotte, Ana Lucia, Lapidus, the pilot, the stewardess, Frogurt, Arzt, Rose and Bernard, everybody.

We’ll all be bawling at this point, and the final LOST will pound up onto the screen leaving us all full but still feeling like we’re missing something.

I wanna cry just thinking about it.

***

Verdict: I have no insider information, obviously. This is just what I think is a logical conclusion to the show given what we’ve been given. None of this could come true and I’m still pretty likely to enjoy myself. I apologize if any of the above is on the nose, but frankly I doubt it.

Come Monday we’ll know my final score. I’ll reflect on it with a mixture of sadness and bemusement at my naiveté.

Until then, enjoy it LOST-heads. These are the last days of our conjecture.