Brin brooded in the dark.
It was always dark now that the sun had gone.
A small victory, Brin appraised, made smaller without his angel body and robot bride. Realistically, the only one’s suffering from the celestial coup he helped orchestrate was him. Everyone else was in his Infi-Net.
That vexed him.
All thanks to Kendra fucking Shields: the teenage girl who somehow absconded with his spaceship, router, and future bride, R.T. The one of a kind Astromobile who’s unique physiology was what spread the Infi-Net magic.
Now he was stuck here, and his best chickens couldn’t find them. Business was down because nobody was around to do business with. Without a sun nobody could grow anything, so the tree half of GoogolSoft’s headquarters was wilting.
He should be supping his fill, ruling the universe and up to his taint in cyber-poon. Instead he was forced to watch a war unfold across his creation… on a dial-up connection. He looked over at his monitor, it was still trying to buffer the live-feed from Stuffopedia. It had been stuck on 85% for the past twenty minutes.
In a rude burst of noise, the picture started moving again, apparently skipping 86% right through to 100%. Due to the abysmal frame rate he had no idea what was happening. Though, he was pretty sure a Virus Killer just stepped on a guy. Good. Yeah, fuck that guy… if that’s what happened.
The video and sound stopped again: Buffering 0%.
Brin picked up a paperweight and moved forward to smash the monitor to pieces. This was not how the Portland Port’s behaved, he could hear his father scolding him, be cool, Brin, be cool. He stopped himself and looked at the paperweight. It was a model of the first ship to land in his great-great-grandpa’s backyard. He put it down, and sat heavily.
He was surrounded by his family legacy. From hemp farmers, to masters of port, to forging into technology. That was his father’s addition before handing the ball off to Brin. A field he would always be second best in so long as HappyCo. was around. So Brin designed a place where he would rule, using technology even HappyCo. couldn’t get a hold of.
The low quality video burst to life again, but by the time Brin looked it had already frozen up.
Was that a randy goatman shooting one of his own ships with a spam rocket? Awesome, but for these guys he can’t conquer the thing he built. He was pretty sure he even knew that goatman, Pinchnuts or something. He got hit in the dick with a Frisbee, that was a good view-getter back in the day. In the day when he could get the fucking machine to fucking do the job it was fucking designed for. Brin thought again about cracking the monitor into teeny tiny pieces with great-great-grandpa’s model.
A spear of fluorescent light cut across his office, over his desk and landed in his eye. He blinked and recoiled away from the intruding illumination. Sunshower clip-clopped through the door on high heels. “Hey, hon!” she chirped.
He rolled his eyes. “Mm.”
“Sage is downstairs organizing tonight’s wood run,” she volunteered, closing the door behind her. The former intern—now Vice President of something he had made up at the time—sashayed across the floor just like he asked her to. She still wasn’t tall enough; her hair, not long enough; her boobs were too big, they weren’t the right shape, she was all wrong. She reached him and kissed his cheek, her lips were warm and wet; not the metallic chill and static shock he imagined R.T.’s kiss to be like. “What are you doing in the dark?” Every time she spoke it was like an ear plague.
He motioned toward the grainy picture.
She squinted at the screen, calling attention to her too-long eyelashes. “Arrrrre we winning?”
“I don’t know. Yeah, I think so.” Brin leaned forward, pulling away from her. “Man, do you have to be in here?”
“Can I check my fic?” She asked, curling a finger in his hair.
He jerked away. “Your what? Is that… what is that?”
“My fic. I’m friends with some people on LiveDiary, and I’m expecting an update from Wolfboi.”
“Who reads on the Infi-Net? That’s absurd—” She moved forward and opened a new window. “Excuse me?” he protested.
“You’re excused.” She tapped out the address on the keyboard. Several seconds later. “Oh good, it’s up!”
“I’m in the middle of a war here.” Brin reached for the mouse.
She slapped his hand away. “That video is never going to come through. Dr. Whatzit will text you when he’s done.”
That she was right did nothing to make him less angry. “And what is it that’s so important to read?” He tried to peek in between her elbow and shoulder.
“Well, it’s… it’s this fan fiction group I belong to.” She blushed. He didn’t know what that was about, but it sickened him just a little bit.
“Is it seriously about fans? How is that at all interesting?” He pushed away and got out of his chair to be away from the stink of her. Like hyacinth and vanilla.
“Not about fans, by fans,” she corrected and sat in his place. She continued, “People who like other people’s characters write their own versions—or themselves into the stories, and stuff like that. It’s a total revolution of fans servicing fans.”
He shook his head, clearly illustrating his lack of understanding
“Like, in this one, Overboy seduces Blue Jay, and shows him this whole world of sensuality that he didn’t even know was there. This is chapter three, where Lightning comes in on them and is all like, no way, and they’re all like, oh yes, and then Overboy grabs him by the—”
Brin held up a hand and she obediently came to a stop. “So, this gay guy, Overboy makes this Blue… kid also gay? Is that like his superpower?” He didn’t so much care, but she clearly wasn’t going away.
“Well, yes and no, I mean, Overboy isn’t technically gay, at least not in canon. But this is all about them exploring themselves on a sexual journey of self-discovery.”
“So, neither of them is gay, or bi, or anything?”
“Well, no, but I mean, in this story—”
“And then this other straight kid joins in?” Brin asked levelly.
“Well, Overboy holds him down and then Blue Jay blows him, but eventually, yeah,” she nodded.
“Isn’t that a little rapey?” He was just about done with this conversation. This is why he should be banging someone more than a few years out of school.
“Oh whatever, it’s a fantasy. They do whatever the writer wants them to.”
Brin turned that phrase over in his head a few times. “Where’s this again?”
“LiveDiary. It’s the first place I’m going once we get into the Infi-Net.”
As useless as she was, as repugnant and officious as he found her, she may have just solved one of his ongoing problems. “They do this with every story?”
“Yeah. Pretty much.” Sunshower finished reading and closed the window.
As predicted, the movie hadn’t advanced; however, a little chime announced an incoming text message. Brin shooed her out of the seat. She rounded the desk and tripped over a small black briefcase. “Ow!”
Godwindoc01: Stuffopedia taken.
The video barked to life and died right away again. He moused over and clicked it closed. He really needed to find a way to get directly connected to the Infi-Net again.
Bossdog420: good. new job 4 yu
“What’s in this briefcase?”
What was she talking about now? Brin looked up in annoyance. She held up the case with the HyLon processor they cloned from R.T. “Nothing. Put it down.”
Godwindoc01: Need to secure garrison, first. What next?
She thumped the heavy case up on the desk and popped it open. “What’s this do?”
He needed to contact these ficcers from LiveDiary, get back on the Infi-Net, and be rid of this bitch, like now. “It makes robots into people or people into robots, just leave it alone!”
Bossdog420: livdairy. just send messager/
“Well, how’s it work?” Sunshower was holding the boxy portion of the Psyche-infusing processor up to her chest.
He looked up to tell her to get the hell out, when a dark thought occurred to him.
A way to kill two birds with one stone.
She finally served a purpose, and now she could serve two.
His canine grin split his face. “Here. I’ll show you.”
He stood, picking up great-great grandpa’s paper weight.
Godwindoc01: Affirmative.
