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1. What is your name?
I have gone by many names. Most of them involve Lord and Lemmings.
2. What is your favorite color?
Calico.
3. What is your favorite time of the year?
Early Spring. New litter time.
4. What is your favorite animal?
Really now? Animalia Chordata Mammalia Rodentia Cricetidae Arvicolinae Lemmini, of course.
5. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Are you familiar with Lemming ball? No, I suppose not.
6. What is your favorite smell?
Cedar chips and urine.
7. Do you like your handwriting?
I have a lemming for that.
8. First thing you wash in the shower?
I take a tongue bath and begin at my extremities.
9. Do you plan outfits?
I plan all sorts of things. Outfits are not among them.
10. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Oh, that was a very long time ago, indeed. Very clever, quiz.
11. What’s the closest thing to you that’s red?
My Road Hazard Lemming, Stevie, here.
12. What’s the last dream you remember having?
This isn’t the sort of question you ask someone on the eve of their godhood. You simply aren’t prepared for the answer.
13. What are you craving right now?
Turkish delight. I don’t know what it is, but I know I want it. That or figgy pudding, same story.
14. Do you like your hair?
I prefer to think of it as fur. It’s hair, of course, but the heart wants what the heart wants.
15. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
I am not in a room, and no.
16. How many planets have you visited?
More than I care to recall.
17. Do you use chapstick?
No, I have a lemming for that.
18. Can you use chopsticks?
I have a lemming for that as well.
19. Do you own a gun?
I do not. A crude and inaccurate weapon at best.
20. Do you have any tattoos?
I have a tattoo of myself only taller.
21. Do looks matter?
A good sheen to your fur will win you awards, but it won’t keep you warm in the winter.
22. Do you like sushi?
I am mostly herbivorous. I make exceptions for poultry and swine on occasion. Because frankly, fuck them.
23. What was the most recent thing you bought?
A Slap-Chop. The young man on the commercial convinced me.
24. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Every Christmas.
25. Are you emotional?
I am more often described as aloof or capricious.
26. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Velvet.
27. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Hildegarde will be airing out linens tomorrow, I’ll let him know you were asking.
28. Did you meet anybody new today?
I have met you, quiz.
29. Last time you cried?
We don’t care to recall such things. Naughty quiz, no treat for you.
30. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
That is fair to say.
31. The last person you held hands with?
Myself.
32. Ever been in love?
See #29.
33. Do you like yourself?
All of me. Yes.
34. Do you like your life right now?
It is a very exciting time to be me! I’m going to be a God you know.
