I know what you’re saying.
You’re saying, “What the fuck is going on over here? This place has gone of the rails. It’s colorful, sure. But did I read something about a giant talking ball of fire? Did two blowhard heroes just punch out a hapless teenager downloading music off of something approximating the Internet? Who are these people? Where is my wallet?”
Okay, first, here’s your wallet back. We stole your credit cards. It’s nothing personal, but this free web fiction thing doesn’t exactly cover our Netflix subscription, am I right?
What you’re getting here is free web fiction, yes. And we know, your next comment is, “But this post isn’t free web fiction. That’s false advertising, and I will sue you jackholes.”
Ease off, Legal Eagle. Chill your tailfeathers. We need you to be cool about this. Are you cool? Be cool.
We’re here to let you know what you can expect from this site in the future.
First, let’s talk the schedule.
Mondays, you’re going to get bonus material. Extra content. For now, that means character bios, but you can expect other stuff. Little micro-tales, maybe. Perhaps a description of a planet or three floating around the great narrative nebula soup that is The Storyverse. Could be that we’ll draw you a picture in crayon of the Loch Ness Monster eating a giant baby. Don’t complain. It’s free. It’s a bonus. It’s pie on top of cake.
Wednesdays, you’re going to get a new 1500-word chapter of Shadowstories: The Infi-Net Revolution. If you need to get caught up, feel free to bop on over to The Story So Far. Every other chapter is written by one of us two dillweeds — Chuck’s on odds, and Marty’s on evens. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Do you care? You don’t.
Fridays, which if you’re smart you’ll recognize as “today,” you’ll be getting a face full of what we call “Meandering Piffle.” It’s behind-the-scenes yammering. Process talk for process monkeys. Listen, this is an experiment. We’re making this up as we go. We’re not the first people to write serial web fiction, and we won’t be the last. But right now, it’s the Wild West out here, and the frontier is growing instead of shrinking; its dustblown streets and toothy saloon doors are ready to swallow up the clean streets of Old Media. The laws are out the window. Brothels are popping up like zits. Surly cowpokes are shooting each other at high noon. People are building railroads to nowhere. It’s crazy, and we love it, but because no rules have yet been set, no clear path to victory exists. This means we’re stumbling blindly through, and Fridays seem like a good day to let you in on our successes, failures, frustrations and giddy crazy-talk.
That’s now.
What, then, will the future bring?
Flying cars! Hover skateboards! Robot ponies! Pornography downloaded directly to your genitals!
Ennnhhh. Maybe not? We’re no prognosticators.
The future of this place, well, we know what’s up with that.
The biggest thing is, when all is said and done, expect A Product. An e-Book, maybe, with a print version. And podcasts.
You can also expect some sweet, sweet Merch. Tees. Stickers. Coffee mugs. Urinal pucks. Plush lemmings. Futuristic sex dolls. Something like that.
Plus: contests, games, new graphics, new logos, maybe a book trailer. Eventually: a comic book.
One or two of you might be looking for the Donate button. Don’t worry about it. We don’t want donations. For now, go donate to your favorite web fiction or web comic, for they’re more deserving than we with our coupla’ chapters. (Sure, this site costs us in both time and greenbacks, but we know how to peddle ourselves on the hard streets. We’re sexy. We’ll get by.) When the times comes, we’d rather you give us money in a good old-fashioned Capitalist Exchange — we’ll offer a service, be it a book or edible undies or something, and we hope you’ll exchange some of your magical monkey tickets for our sorcerous story products. (If you want to offer us anything right now, offer us comments. Offer us word of mouth. Offer us critiques and insights and ideas and recipes and high-fives and take-out menus written in belligerent alien tongues!)
Though, please note, we will always offer the story free online. You want to read it, it’ll be here. All you have to do is show up, and bring your eyes. Also, fruit punch. We really like fruit punch.
So, check back with us Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Watch this train rumble down the tracks! Will it slam into a wall and explode, burning all those within to a char-broiled crisp? Or will it grow angel wings and fly up into the skies, taking its passengers on a magical ride through clouds formed of puppy breath and orangutan dreams?
Set up the lawnchairs and watch the show.
